I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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