so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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