He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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