I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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