i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
