It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
