Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
