so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
