Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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