He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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