I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
