I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize