So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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