he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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