11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can you repeat that, but with context?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
