as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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