she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
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that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
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A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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