I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
