very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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