He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
