I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
