I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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