you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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