Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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