i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
