Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
