dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
