she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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