it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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