he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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