I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
