Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
