:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.