I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion