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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.