Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I am mentally ready for anal.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
