the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
