you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
