what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
