this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
