the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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