'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
