PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
