please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
