Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
