I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You're like the curious george of whores
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
