Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
