So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Rumble strips road head = magical
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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