brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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