I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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