You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
dude. I can hear the air.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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