U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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