maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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