she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
