things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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