It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
