nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize