508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
