Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
