I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
