Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
