i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Randomize
