Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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