One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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