You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
