yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
