what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
