You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
