I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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