Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
